Clarkson’s Handshake Deal: Even Essendon Fans Know a Fudge When They See One
Nothing says ‘all is well at Arden Street’ quite like a coach telling reporters he’s ‘happy with a handshake’ on his contract while his team is mathematically circling the drain for September. As an Essendon man, I want to be clear: I know exactly what it looks like when a football club decides vibes are a substitute for a signature, and I’m here to tell you, Kangaroos fans, it rarely ends with a parade.
The Handshake Heard Round Arden Street
Alastair Clarkson fronted the cameras this week and did what four-time premiership coaches do best — he made uncertainty sound like a masterplan. A handshake, he reckons, is good enough for now. No need to rush the paperwork, no drama, just a nod and a grip between old mates who trust each other. Look, I get it. Handshakes have served plenty of blokes well over the years. Just ask anyone who’s ever bought a car off a bloke named Gary at a pub. But when you’re the head coach of an AFL club staring at another season on the outer looking in at finals, ‘trust me bro’ energy isn’t exactly the reassurance the members are after.
North’s supporters have earned the right to be a little jumpy here. This is a club that’s been promised the rebuild is ‘on track’ more times than my old man’s promised to quit the punt. At some point the handshake needs to become ink on paper, or the speculation train just keeps chugging along, dragging every second-string reporter in the country with it.
Missing Finals Again — At What Point Does Patience Wear Thin?
Let’s not sugarcoat where North sit on the ladder. Barring a miracle run that would make even the most rusted-on Roo believe in the footy gods again, this is shaping as another year outside the eight. That’s not a slight on the playing list, some of these kids are genuinely exciting, it’s just where the club is at in the cycle. Rebuilds take time, we all know the drill, Essendon’s basically written the textbook on ‘these things take time’ over the last decade and a half.
But here’s the rub — when you’re missing finals and the conversation shifts to whether the bloke steering the ship is actually contracted beyond this year, it starts to feel less like patience and more like paralysis. Clarkson’s brand still carries serious weight in industry circles. Four flags at Hawthorn doesn’t just evaporate because you’ve had a couple of years in the wilderness at a rebuilding club. But brand and job security are two very different beasts, and North’s board know it.
Why the Handshake Approach Actually Makes Some Sense
Now, before the pitchforks come out, let me play devil’s advocate for a sec because I reckon there’s method here. Locking a coach into a monster extension when the list is mid-rebuild and results aren’t flowing can box a club in. Clarkson himself would know this better than anyone — he’s seen how quickly the football public turns on long-term deals that don’t deliver instant success. A handshake buys flexibility for both parties. If it’s tracking well by mid next year, formalise it. If it’s not, nobody’s stuck wearing a contract that becomes a millstone.
It’s also just very Clarko. The bloke’s never been one for theatre. He’ll happily let the speculation swirl around him like it’s background noise while he gets on with teaching kids how to defend a switch of play. Say what you like about his win-loss record at North so far, but his standing in the caoching fraternity means he could walk into most senior jobs in the country tomorrow if he wanted out. The fact he’s not chasing the exit and is instead shaking hands on staying says something.
The Essendon Parallel Nobody Asked For
I can already hear the North fans groaning, ‘here comes Riggsy with another Essendon comparison’, but hear me out. We’ve lived through coaching uncertainty, contract dramas and finals droughts that would make anyone’s eyes water. We’ve had the lot — investigations, suspensions, more reviews than a Netflix show nobody watches. If there’s one thing being an Essendon supporter teaches you, it’s that clarity matters more than comfort. Ambiguity breeds speculation, speculation breeds anxiety in the fanbase, and anxiety in the fanbase eventually finds its way onto talkback radio where it curdles into something much uglier.
North don’t need a soap opera. They need clean answers. If the club and Clarkson are fair dinkum about the long-term project, put it in writing. If there’s genuine uncertainty about whether he sees it through, better everyone knows now rather than this being a running storyline every second week from now until October.
What Should North Actually Do?
My honest take? Formalise it before the trade period madness kicks off. Every week this drags on is a week opposition clubs, agents and media types get to speculate about whether Clarkson’s Arden Street tenure has an use-by date. That’s not fair to him, it’s not fair to the playing group trying to find some form heading into the back end of the year, and it’s certainly not fair to a fanbase that’s been asked to be patient through a genuinely tough period.
Clarkson’s earned the benefit of the doubt through what he’s built in the game, but benefit of the doubt isn’t infinite currency, even for a bloke with his CV. North’s list is improving, there are genuine building blocks there, but building blocks need a stable foundation, and right now the foundation is a handshake and a smile in a press conference.
The Bottom Line
Handshakes are lovely at the footy club presentation night when you’re congratulating the reserves best and fairest winner. They’re less convincing as the basis of a multi-year coaching arrangement at a club trying to convince its members the rebuild has real substance behind it. Clarkson says he’s happy, and fair enough, he’s not the one who needs convincing — it’s the North faithful sitting through another finals-less September who deserve more than good vibes and a firm grip.
Sort the paperwork, Kangaroos. Trust me, as someone who’s watched their club lurch from crisis to crisis over the years, uncertainty left to fester never gets cheaper to fix later.
