209cm Giant Hits Local Footy — Watch Out Suburban Defenders
Righto, so a 209cm delisted Hawk is rocking up to local football and I reckon every suburban full-back in teh state should be having nightmares already. You don’t see blokes that size walking round Woolworths, let alone running round a suburban oval on a Saturday arvo.
This is footy news that’s got nothing to do with the Pies directly, but as a self-respecting footy tragic I’ve got thoughts. Big thoughts. Because a bloke that tall dropping down to local level is basically cheating, isn’t it? Well, not cheating, but you know what I mean.
Why This Is Actually Massive News
Let’s be honest, when a delisted AFL ruckman heads to local footy it usually gets a line in the local paper and that’s it. But 209cm? That’s basically a human skyscraper walking into a competition where blokes are lucky to crack 195.
Carn the Pies, but even I’ll admit this bloke sounds like an absolute unit. Imagine being the opposition ruckman lining up on him at the opening bounce. You’d want to ask for a please-explain before the siren even goes.
Local footy is the lifeblood of this game. Always has been. The grounds might be bumpier, the changerooms might smell like Dencorub and regret, but the passion is real. And now it’s about to get a genuine AFL-calibre big man walking straight into the contest.
What This Means For The Competition He’s Joining
Think about it for a second. A 209cm key position player who’s trained at AFL level, who’s had access to proper strength and conditioning programs, who understands structures and craft around stoppages, is about to turn up and absolutely tower over blokes who work a day job Monday to Friday and train Tuesday and Thursday nights.
Is that fair? Probably not. Is it brilliant for footy? Definately.
Local leagues love a story like this. Membership numbers go up, crowds go up, the opposition clubs start scheming about how to nullify him weeks in advance. You can already picture some local coach drawing up a plan on a whiteboard that just says
