Pies Pummel the Roos and I Am Not Sorry

Some nights at Marvel Stadium you walk in half-expecting the footy gods to make you suffer, and some nights the footy gods just let you enjoy yourself. Round 18, 2026 — Collingwood versus North Melbourne — was one of the good ones, and I’m going to take every second of it.

The Contest Was Over Before Quarter Time

Let’s be honest about what we saw in that opening term. North came in with something to prove — they’ve had a few spirited performances this year and there was genuine talk they might put the Pies under pressure early. That talk lasted about four minutes.

Collingwood’s midfield brigade was absolutely bristling from the first bounce. The inside-50 entries were crisp, the clearance work was relentless, and the Roos looked like a side that had turned up expecting a fair fight only to cop a left hook straight out of the gates.

\p>By the time the first siren sounded it was effectively a training drill. That’s not meant as disrespect to North — they’re a young group building something — but the Pies were just on another level tonight and teh gap in execution was impossible to ignore.

The Midfield Owned Every Inch of Marvel

If you’re a Collingwood supporter and you weren’t grinning watching our engine room work tonight, check your pulse. The work rate was elite. The pressure at the contest was suffocating. Every time the Kangaroos tried to set up a chain through the middle, a black-and-white jumper appeared from nowhere to smother or spoil or simply out-muscle them.

This is what the Pies look like when the midfield fires together. It’s not pretty for the opposition — it’s relentless, grinding, suffocating footy. You earn every single possession against this Collingwood side when they’re in this kind of mood, and North Melbourne were definately not able to match it for the bulk of the evening.

The stoppage numbers told a brutal story. Collingwood won the clearance count comfortably, and the differential in contested possessions was the sort of gap that makes you wonder if you’re watching two sides from the same competition.

The Forward Line Finally Clicked

Now, I’ll admit — there’s been a bit of chatter lately about whether the Pies’ forward setup has been quite right in 2026. A few rounds where the inside-50s have been there but the scoring hasn’t followed. Fair criticism. I’ve said it myself in this column.

Tonight? Forget it. The forward line clicked in a way that should make every Collingwood supporter excited about what’s coming in September. The leads were sharp. The marking contests were contested properly. And when the ball arrived inside 50 it found willing bodies in good positions.

When this team’s forward structure works in sync with that midfield output, they are genuinely hard to beat. That’s not homerism — that’s just what I saw with my own two eyes from my seat at Marvel tonight.

A Word on the Umpiring — Of Course

Look, I can’t write a Collingwood piece and not mention the umpires. House rules. I won’t go after anyone personally — the men in white are doing a tough job in a fast game — but a couple of those free kick decisions in the third quarter had the Collingwood faithful around me absolutely shaking their heads.

There was a holding call against a Pies midfielder that, in my humble and completely unbiased opinion, was soft as a marshmallow left in the sun. And a ball-up that should of been a Collingwood throw-in. It didn’t cost us the game — we had far too much in reserve for that — but the pattern of those calls never seems to go our way when there’s a 50-50 to be had.

One day. One day we’ll get the rub of the green on those 50-50s. I’ll keep waiting.

What Does This Mean for the Ladder?

Right, let’s talk about the bigger picture because that’s what Round 18 is all about. We’re in the pointy end of the home-and-away season and every four points matters enormously.

Collingwood’s win tonight does a couple of things. It locks in the four points, obviously — never take those for granted in a competition this tight. But it also reinforces percentage, which could be absolutely decisive when the final ladder shake-out happens over the last month of the regular season.

The Pies are in the mix. Anyone telling you otherwise hasn’t watched them play lately. The September date is there to be grabbed and this performance showed a team that knows how to win and is playing with the kind of confidence that comes from having done it before under pressure.

• Clearance differential: Collingwood dominant — set the tone all night
• Inside 50s: Pies had a significant advantage that translated directly to scoreboard pressure
• Defensive pressure: North Melbourne’s forward entries were well below their season average
• Scoring efficiency: Collingwood converted at a rate that should have the rest of the competition worried

North Melbourne — A Genuine Word of Respect

I know I’ve been celebrating hard here, and I make no apologies for that, but let me give North Melbourne their due for a moment.

The Kangaroos are a side in transition — everyone knows that story — but there were passages of play tonight where you could see what they’re trying to build. A couple of their younger players showed real ticker. They didn’t throw it in when the scoreline got away from them and they had a crack right until the last siren.

That matters. Culture gets built in the losses as much as the wins, and North’s group will be better for grinding through a night like this. They’re a side to watch over the next couple of seasons. Just not tonight. Tonight was the Pies’ night.

The Verdict: Carn the Pies

What a performance. What a night. Marvel Stadium on a Thursday evening with a big Collingwood win — honestly, there are worse ways to spend your time on this earth.

The midfield was elite. The forward line delivered. The defence held firm when North had their brief moments of opportunity. And the team showed the kind of collective belief that you simply cannot fake at this time of year.

There are questions still to answer between now and the finals. Who locks in the last spot in the forward rotation? Can the back six maintain this level when they face a side with more firepower than North? What happens when the Pies draw a side that can genuinely match them at the contest?

Those are questions for another week. Tonight, I’m just a Collingwood supporter who watched his team play some proper footy and I am not remotely interested in tempering that feeling.

Four points. Check. Percentage boosted. Check. Confidence heading into the final stretch of the home-and-away season? Sky high.

Carn the Pies.